This post is based on my reaction toward the following article:
You Don’t Get to Choose Entanglement by Matt Tighe
First time, I glanced through the article, I was a bit confused. I reread it, paying much closer attention this time and as a result, I bawled my eyes out. It explains true love so beautifully. There is entanglement in true love and losing a loved one, to me, also means entanglement with emotional pain, but as I learn more about grief, long term emotional suffering after losing a loved one might be considered Prolonged or Complicated Grief.
“In the worlds where I die at the start of last year, she goes through her final year alone.” It takes a moment for that to sink in. “You can’t seriously be going to spend 40 years doing this!” I wonder why I am bothering even as I speak. A sale is a sale, after all. It’s just, well, he could have any year. Chalmers just keeps on with his sad smile. “I think you were right. You don’t understand entanglement. But I do.”
There is a poem by Rumi (one of my favorite poems from Rumi actually), & it sums up my feeling toward loss of loved ones.
It roughly translates to:
I won’t easily give up your pain,
I won’t stop loving my beloved until I am dead,
I have a souvenir of pain from beloved,
Which I won’t give up for a hundred thousand cures.
The Original poem in Persian- part of Rumi’s Poem Number 1335:
من درد تو را زدست آسان ندهم
دل برنکنم زدوست تا جان ندهم
از دوست به یادگار دردی دارم
که آن درد به صد هزار درمان ندهم
A Few Resources for Grief:
For a more comprehensive list of resources please visit: