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  • Kim

Entanglement, Love, & Grief

This post is based on my reaction toward the following article:

You Don’t Get to Choose Entanglement by Matt Tighe


First time, I glanced through the article, I was a bit confused. I reread it, paying much closer attention this time and as a result, I bawled my eyes out. It explains true love so beautifully. There is entanglement in true love and losing a loved one, to me, also means entanglement with emotional pain, but as I learn more about grief, long term emotional suffering after losing a loved one might be considered Prolonged or Complicated Grief.

“In the worlds where I die at the start of last year, she goes through her final year alone.” It takes a moment for that to sink in. “You can’t seriously be going to spend 40 years doing this!” I wonder why I am bothering even as I speak. A sale is a sale, after all. It’s just, well, he could have any year. Chalmers just keeps on with his sad smile. “I think you were right. You don’t understand entanglement. But I do.”

There is a poem by Rumi (one of my favorite poems from Rumi actually), & it sums up my feeling toward loss of loved ones.

It roughly translates to:

I won’t easily give up your pain,

I won’t stop loving my beloved until I am dead,

I have a souvenir of pain from beloved,

Which I won’t give up for a hundred thousand cures.



The Original poem in Persian- part of Rumi’s Poem Number 1335:

من درد تو را زدست آسان ندهم

دل برنکنم زدوست تا جان ندهم

از دوست به یادگار دردی دارم


که آن درد به صد هزار درمان ندهم


A Few Resources for Grief:

For a more comprehensive list of resources please visit:


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